It’s all the fault of guns. We all know this, there’s no sense fighting it any longer. And thanks to a recent video from the good folks over at Babylon Bee, now everyone else will know it too. Here’s some true facts about guns for you on this happy little Friday, to kick off your weekend just right.
Babylon Bee True Facts About Guns
As we all know, the world knew nothing but peace and love before the awful invention of firearms. No one ever fell victim to violence of any kind.
“For thousands of years, humanity lived in peace without any murders or violence at all,” the Bee explains. “And then firearms were invented by notorious business partners Bill Weapon and Cornelius Gun. Person kind was instantly plunged into a horrifying hellscape of death and destruction, and it’s all thanks to guns.”
Thankfully, the Bee breaks down today’s landscape of murder machines. They show us the deadly scoped semi-auto revolver with an extended mag clip used to kill ol’ Abe Lincoln. Next comes a 9mm that blows lungs right out of humans. And finally, we see an Assault Rifle – Fourteen, as heavy as 10 moving boxes apparently. Stock things, trigger murder buttons, Nazi Germany? Even death rails and chainsaws. Don’t forget the bible attachment, oh word. Clearly, guns are just pure evil incarnate, ready to take down us all.
“Trigger warning: this is really scary,” the Bee warns.
What’s scarier, you might ask? Well, the fact that this spoof on the American gun debate basically serves as a play sheet ripped from the book of the anti-gun left. Their myopic view of guns and gun laws proves disturbing, bordering on the ridiculous, looking to shift blame onto inanimate objects and law-abiding gun owners.
Just in case you didn’t fully get it, that whole video was satire, produced by The Babylon Bee. We put some words to it, joining in on the fun. The conservative, Christian outlet, the Babylon Bee, produces satirical news content, fully vetted and verified by Snopes.com. So they remain a legit source, though typically pretty hilarious, in this world of often shoddy journalism.